Biblical Ways to Heal After Conflict With Adult Children

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Proverbs 15:1  KJV  “A soft answer turneth away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger.”  Gentle communication helps calm family conflict and rebuild peace.  

From a biblical point of view, conflict in families is not new. Even in Scripture, we see parents and children disagree, misunderstand each other, and struggle with respect.

After an argument, people often feel hurt, sad, angry, or rejected. The Bible teaches that these emotions are real, but they should be handled with wisdom, humility, and love.

Alt tag; #Prodigal Son

  ✔️🙏🙏🙏One of the first steps is to pause and calm the heart. Quick reactions can lead to more pain, but quiet reflection brings clarity.   PRAY. Invite holy counsel. 

Repeat scripture. Drink a cup of hot tea or coffee to smooth your nerves.  Read something devotional and emcouraging like this post or the bible online. Its on your phone. 

Prayer for the relationship is powerful because it invites God into the situation and shifts the focus from winning the argument to restoring love.

Scripture encourages people to be “slow to speak, slow to wrath,” reminding us that strong emotions need time and prayer before action.

✔️🙏🙏🙏 Another biblical response is self-examination. Instead of focusing only on the child’s behavior, believers are encouraged to ask God to search their own hearts.

This does not mean accepting disrespect, but it helps remove pride, harsh words, or misunderstandings that may have added to the conflict.

Humility opens the door for healing.  Look for the truth.  It is very difficult when an adult child has disrespected you.

Just know the spirit behind it and tell Satan he can’t have your child or family and kick him out by telling him to leave. 

“I am saved by God by the blood of the lamb of God – the holy Jesus Christ and I command you Satan to leave me and _name of child alone. Get out of my house and situation. I command it in the name of Jesus Christ.

  ✔️🙏🙏🙏 Finally, the Bible encourages patience and gentle communication. Adult children are still learning, growing, and facing pressures of their own.

Kind words and calm conversations often rebuild bridges faster than lectures or silence. With time, prayer, and grace, family relationships can heal and grow stronger.

Forgiveness is also essential. Holding anger can grow into bitterness and damage relationships over time.

Forgiveness does not excuse wrong behavior, but it releases the emotional burden and creates space for peace.

If after clarity you need to kick the child out the house, or give the relationship some space  –discipline with love. 

No one can take the place of Mother or Father. Leave love on the table.

You have two weeks to find somewhere else to stay.  I will always love you.  or   When you can talk to me with salt on your tongue then you can talk to me.

“I love you but will not tolerate any more disrespect.  PERIOD.”  I am your parent. You are not mine. 

If they do not respect you, they will not respect others and have a difficult life especially in keeping jobs or relationships.

They may say, What about this or that? Don’t play into it.  It is time to end the conversation.  Come back to it later, if you must. 

**Never accept violence or give violence.  Be safe and call 911-the police. Do not put yourself in harms way or others. 

Do not physically hurt anyone.  It is not necessary and both of you will regret it later.  Give it to God.  Be still and know I am God. Psalm 46:10 KJV

Be careful sharing your problems with others. Your adult child may hear about it and feel you are betraying them especially if it is just a difference of opinion.

It will make it hard to keep the doors of communication open.

Be selective, your pastor or church team, bible counselor or a professional counselor (certified)- maybe a better choice.

Some friends are very wise in these matters and are confidential and invaluable.  

Here at daily scripture explained, I  offer confidential counseling if you need it –see below.  

Be warned, friends will support you and never forget. It could come back to hurt you later. 

No one said it would be easy but the more you do it, it is easier to do. The Holy Spirit will help you. 

1. James 1:19–20 KJV
   “Wherefore, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath: For the wrath of man worketh not the righteousness of God.”
   This reminds us to slow down after conflict and give emotions time to settle.

2. Ephesians 4:31–32 KJV
   “Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamour, and evil speaking, be put away from you… And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another…”
   God calls us to release bitterness and choose kindness and forgiveness.

3. Proverbs 15:1  KJV
   “A soft answer turneth away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger.”
   Gentle communication helps calm family conflict and rebuild peace.  

    

Bible Story Example – The Prodigal Son (Luke 15:11–24)  Sometimes parents have to let our adult children make their own mistakes.  Set boundaries.

Jesus shared this story to show God’s heart toward people who wander and return. A younger son asked his father for his inheritance early, which was deeply disrespectful in that culture. He left home and wasted everything in reckless living. Soon, a famine came, and he found himself hungry, poor, and feeding pigs. In his lowest moment, he realized how far he had fallen and decided to return home in humility.

Luke 15:17–18 (KJV)
“And when he came to himself, he said… I will arise and go to my father, and will say unto him, Father, I have sinned against heaven, and before thee.”

When the son returned, he expected rejection. Instead, the father ran to meet him, hugged him, and welcomed him home with joy.

Luke 15:20 (KJV)
“But when he was yet a great way off, his father saw him, and had compassion, and ran, and fell on his neck, and kissed him.”

The father restored him fully, giving him new clothes, a ring, and a celebration. This shows forgiveness that restores dignity and relationship.

Luke 15:24 (KJV)
“For this my son was dead, and is alive again; he was lost, and is found.”

This story teaches that love does not ignore wrong, but it leaves the door open for repentance and reconciliation.

It shows how grace, humility, and forgiveness can rebuild family relationships, even after deep hurt.

Real-World Example
A mother and her grown daughter argued about life choices and stopped speaking for months.

The mother prayed for peace and resolution instead of replaying the argument.

When they finally spoke again, she chose calm words instead of blame and simply said she loved her daughter and wanted peace.

That gentle approach opened the door for a real conversation.

Over time, their relationship healed and became stronger than before.